And in other exciting news...

Or not, depending on whether or not you have no life, like me, and the littlest things excite you.

Oh, man, I have no life.

No, seriously.  The other day, I received a disk in from Netflix.  This was not a huge surprise, since I'm a member of Netflix and I get disks in the mail from them all the time. (want to save money on your cable bill?  Get the cheapest and fastest internet you can find.  We use Virgin Mobile to go, which isn't great, and it's not that fast, but it costs me 40 dollars a month for unlimited service.  It goes down quite a bit, it's slower than cable, but it's cheaper, too, and you get what you paid for. Then get a subscription to Netflix.  Any will do, one disk out at a time, or three, because you want to be able to view the movies online, and get the disks in, too, for those days when the internet isn't working at all-- and then get a monthly subscription to Hulu.  Or, drop Netflix and just use Hulu, which is 7.99 a month.  Yes, there are disadvantages.  Yes, you can probably find stuff with no commercials or illegal stuff around the internet that's much cheaper or free, but I'm talking of legal things to do here to fill your television cravings.  My cable bill, with internet and television used to run me around 150 or more a month, depending on whether or not a teenaged son o' mine rented porn.  Now I pay around 60 bucks, and I still have the internet, and all the television shows my little heart desires. Hulu is wonderful, and you can watch shows for free, without the monthly cost, but for the small amount, you can get all the new shows, and you can also put those shows on your Ipods or Iphones, etc.  Not on the Zune, like I own, but there are ways around that.)

(Which is another story for another time.)

Anyway, where was I???

You see, this is why I lose things like, oh my debit card.

I start doing one thing, like putting my debit card into my wallet, and I end up obsessed with hulu dot com, and then, forget where I actually put the debit card.

(That was a true story, by the way.  I really need to find that card!)

Where was I?  Oh!  The disk.

I got in the first Barry Manilow television specials disk, from his shows that he performed in the late 1970's.  You see, I remember the first time I heard a Manilow song.  I'd received a little transistor radio for Christmas one year, and late at night, I'd listen to music on that one little ear phone.  One night, I turned the little dial and randomly landed on a radio station that was playing his song, Mandy.  In my head, I pictured this dark haired dude with a bushy beard and long hair singing this song (It was the 70's!  That says it all if you were there), and was rather surprised when I saw how Mr. Manilow looked in real life, because he's tall and blond, and clean shaven.  But the song amazed me.  It was simple, yet powerful, with its swelling choruses and key changes and the lyrics...oh, the lyrics...

I remember all my life 
Raining down as cold as ice 
A shadow of a man 
A face through a window 
Crying in the night 
The night goes into 

Morning, just another day 
Happy people pass my way 
Looking in their eyes 
I see a memory 
I never realized 
you made me so happy, oh Mandy 

Well you came and you gave without taking 
but I sent you away, oh Mandy 
well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking 
I need you today, oh Mandy 

I'm standing on the edge of time 
I Walked away when love was mine 
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing 
The tears are in my mind 
And nothing is rhyming, oh Mandy 

Well you came and you gave without taking 
but I sent you away, oh Mandy 
well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking 
And I need you today, oh Mandy 

Yesterday's a dream I face the morning 
Crying on the breeze 
the pain is calling, oh Mandy 

Well you came and you gave without taking 
but I sent you away, oh Mandy 
well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking 
And I need you today, oh Mandy 

Well, they appealed to this 12 year old girl, and they appeal to bajillions and trillions of other women, all over the world.

Anyway, I was watching this disk, and ignoring the laughter and teasing from Mr. Clean and Saige, and it brought back memories for me. I remembered this show.  I remembered watching it with Mom, in our living room, and then I remembered that she and I watched several musical special like this, including some by John Denver (whom she liked a lot), the Barry Manilow specials, as well as one by Mac Davis, starring Miss Piggy from the Muppets.  (I'm pretty sure it was Mac Davis, and it was a Christmas Special, too, because Miss Piggy sang the line, "Five golden RINGS!" with gusto on the Partridge in a Pear Tree song.  Although now, after looking it up online, I think that it was a John Denver Xmas special that had Miss Piggy singing, but, no matter.)

What is important is remembering how Mom laughed and enjoyed so many of these specials.  She could not carry a tune, people.  Not a bit.  Remember the saying, "He can't carry a tune in a bucket?"  Yeah, well, Mom didn't even have a bucket.  You know the saying that claims white people have no rhythm?  Someone came up with that after seeing mom trying to clap along to a song or chorus.  Bless her heart, she loved music so much, and she could hear when a note was wrong, and in her head she could sing, but there was a breakdown between head and mouth that was so sad in so many ways.  I used to try to teach her how to sing, because I had a theory if she would just bring up some of that air from her diaphragm and actually TRY, she'd be able to sing, but though she'd gamely go along with me, we'd always end up in giggles, and Mom still couldn't sing on key.

Apparently when she was very small, attending a one room school in the town she lived in with her grandparents, the children were going to sing a little concert or show.  The teacher told my mom to stop singing and just mouth the words because her voice was so bad, and I honestly believed, and still do, that those words put some kind of mental block in my mom's brain.  Some people can sing loudly, and be completely off key, but mom's voice was different than that.  She would sing quietly and breathily, as if she were ashamed, if she were in church or letting me "help" her.  But I can also remember her singing lullabies to my brothers and sisters when they were infants, rocking them, touching their hair, and singing with so much love that the shame was erased.

So, I watched the disk, relieved some memories, cracked up at the styles worn back then, listened to some of the songs, and then sent the disk back.

I was in a great mood, but that's been switched off by some crap going on around here--that's been going on since yesterday morning.   Now I'm too furious and upset to write any more.

Later.

Teo Update

He was in the basement after all!  Saige and I had both searched down there, and called him, to no avail.  I figured that he probably found some corner to die in.  However, I just went to get Saige some ice water, and I heard Teo yowling.  I figured out he was in the basement, and I found him, hiding behind part of an old cage.  He fought me, a bit, as I carried him upstairs, but we made it.  (It hurts him to be carried, but he was desperate to get upstairs, where he belongs!)

I am so glad.  He might die, still, but hopefully, I can keep him in the room from now on.

Well, now, that's just odd...

The cat I wrote about yesterday, Teo?  He's gone.  He's not dead, at least, he might not be dead, but he's gone. He'd been on my bed, which was protected by towels.  Last night he ate merrily and even drank some water.  At 3:41, I woke up and saw that Teo was under the covers with me.  Then at 7am, he was gone.

He probably crawled off somewhere to die, I imagine, but we cannot find him anywhere.  And if he is off trying to die, we need to find him!  Dead mouse is disgusting, so I can imagine what a dead cat would smell like!  He couldn't walk very well at all, so where he could have gone is a mystery to all of us.  We've looked under the bed, in boxes, under the couch, and even in the scary basement, and we cannot find him.  He couldn't have gone outside.

He's just gone.

Weirdness.

I loved that stupid cat.

And he loved boxes of thread.

Speaking of cats, yesterday Jethro's cat, Nocka, became obsessed with the ribbons that are holding Saige's balloons.  She kept biting them, attacking them, chewing on them, and generally being a general nuisance around them, until this happened...

I'm sure her goal was simply to free the balloon, because once that balloon was away from the pack of balloons, Nocka lost interest in them.

Mr. Clean managed to recapture the escaped balloon and put it back in its rightful place.

In other weird news, which has nothing to do with cats, 148 years ago today, Willie Lincoln died in the White House.  

So many Lincoln children died when a quick shot of an antibiotic, or a round of pills, along with some Pedialyte, would have saved them. Heck, so many children of so many families died when now, in the United States, there wouldn't be a problem at all, and death would be a stranger.  I'm grateful we don't have cholera or typhoid epidemics, the way we used to, many years ago, though, and I'm grateful that scarlet fever almost never kills children nowadays.

(I realize some places, like Haiti, still suffer from cholera epidemics.  I am very grateful I live here, though, I must say, Germany was wonderful, too.)

Dang it!  Where did I put my cup of coffee??

Huh.  I don't remember putting it there.  Weird.

Anyway, as you can see, I have nothing really to write about today.  I keep stopping, too, to look for Teo, with no luck.  Sad, sad, sad.  

Go in peace, be warm and filled.

Recovery and Recuperation

My mom has been gone for two years now.  Two years, today.  It's not any easier today than it was two years ago.  I envy those who can move on with their lives, but it also hurts a bit, because I don't want my mom to be forgotten.  She was special, and I miss her so much, each and every day.

There is no way for me to recover from her loss.  All I can do is just go on the best way I know how.

But you know what I miss the most? I miss it when I got her laughing so hard that her hand would fly in front of her mouth, in an effort to stop the giggles.  Mom had a different sense of humor, but sometimes I could hit her funny bone just right, and she'd start to break into peals of laughter.  Then I'd start laughing, and she'd laugh harder, and before you knew it, we'd both be gasping for breath.  I miss her support, of course, too, and how she cared enough to remember things like doctor's appointments or job interviews, and how she'd send cards to let us know she was thinking about us or hoped we'd get well soon.  A couple of times she even came back to town, to go with us to a doctor's appointment, in case the diagnosis was something horrible.  But right now, I miss her laugh most of all.

I hope she's laughing like crazy, up in heaven.

Let me just state for the record that it's much easier to recover from a tonsillectomy than the death of a beloved mom or grandmother.  We put a mattress in the living room so that I could stay with Saige and be close by, but after two nights on it, I was done.  She made up the bed for herself last night.

Ha!!  I love that picture.  BDG thinks he's a human, by the way.

Mr. Clean went out and bought Saige some balloons, which she loves very much.

She even felt well enough to mess around and be silly the day after surgery.

Please ignore the toilet paper on the couch.  Thank you.

That little stuffed horse, since named, Squirrel, was from Ambrose and Erma.  Erma told him to buy Saige flowers, but Ambrose thought it would be weird to buy flowers that up and die, so instead he chose a stuffed animal.  Saige loves little Squirrel the horse, so it's all good.

I don't really have a lot to write about.  Most of my time has been taken up with getting Saige popsicles or Italian ices, or of helping her to the bathroom.  I'm also taking care of our black cat, Teo, who was found under a car the night of the big snowstorm.  The kids brought him inside, and we noticed he had been bitten on his ear.  Well, I started to clean out the wound and put triple antibiotic ointment on it.  A few days later, one of his legs was swollen, and so I thought, "Huh."  It was infected, too.  Then two more of his legs became swollen.  For several days I thought he'd die at any moment, but last night and this morning when I fed him, he worked to get on his feet for his food.  I'm using hot packs, or warm wash clothes dipped in antibiotic soap and epsom salts to try to draw out the infection, and then I cover the wound areas with the antibiotic ointment.  Yes, I should probably take him to the vet, but there is my lack of money to consider, as well as the fact that he was so bad that I'm sure they would have wanted to put him to sleep.  

You might remember that Binnie Boo went to live with Ambrose and his grandparents, because Fuzz Dawg was beating up on her constantly.  Ambrose brings Binnie here to visit occasionally, and each time we have to put Fuzz Dawg up, or else she'll attack.  She does NOT like Binnie, apparently.  Anyway, Binnie has had a bad tooth pulled, so her nasty breath is much improved, and she's happy in her new home.  She is extremely close to Ambrose, and won't go outside to go potty unless he comes with her, the silly dog.  She has a good home and isn't being beat up on all the time.  I miss her, too, but I am glad to be down to 2 dogs, let me tell you!

So, that's it, I think.  Go in peace, be warm and filled.

Now and Then

A few days after my 9th birthday, the powers that be decided I should have my tonsils removed.  Back then, in the "back then" times, as I like to say redundantly, kids had their tonsils removed as a sort of rite of passage.  "TONSILS?  Who needs 'em?", was the motto of the American Medical Association.

I may or may not have made that motto up.

Now they don't regularly remove tonsils.  Somewhere along the line in the past 40 years, the powers that be decided that tonsils might do something important in the body, and that taking them out as a matter of course might not be a wonderful idea.

Which brings me to yesterday.

Saige, Mr. Clean, and I showed up at the hospital at 6:55am to sign in to registration, for her tonsillectomy.   She's had strep throat so many times that her tonsils were huge and lobulated, with scar tissue and grossness galore.  Her doctor looked in her throat and said, and I quote, "EWWWW!!!!"  The ENT took one look and said, "These should come out.  How about next week?"

When I was little, you stayed about 3 days in the hospital for a tonsillectomy.  You went in the afternoon before the surgery, the next morning you had the surgery, and then you spend another day there to make sure you were all right.  Now they rip 'em out and send the patients home, as soon as the patient can eat some ice chips and speak.

Well, maybe it's not that soon after surgery, but the patient is only in the hospital for a few hours.

The one thing that is the same from then to now is the pain you have after a tonsillectomy.  Your throat hurts.  I remember how excited I was to get all the ice cream I wanted, and after one taste, it was yucky and too thick and I couldn't swallow it.  I was bitterly, bitterly, disappointed.  I told Saige that the things that felt best and tasted best to me were plain ice chips and jello.  (Mom made me blackberry jello, which was delicious, and I don't think they make that flavor anymore)

Right after surgery, Saige's blood pressure dropped dangerously low, and she developed a horrible itchy rash from the morphine they gave her.  Hmmm...  I get hives and rashes from IV morphine.  Maybe it's a genetic problem?   They kept me away from her while she was in recovery.  I knew her surgery was done, so I couldn't figure out what happened.  When Lamp and Erma had their various surgical procedures, both kids asked for me immediately after they woke up.  Saige, on the other hand, figured, "Eh, why bother her?"

Anyway, of course I took photos.  Back in the back then times, it seems that most parents didn't take pictures the way a lot of us do now.  Oh, our parents took the mandatory Christmas pictures, with the kids in their jammies by the tree, or the obligatory Easter pictures, with all the kids in matching church outfits lined up in the back yard, but I like to document just about everything.  (The pictures our parents took assume a Christian upbringing.  I assume most people of Jewish or some other faith don't line up their kids for an Easter shot.)

Back then there was  no internet, either, and so there were no You Tube videos showing various tonsillectomies.  We had to sit and watch several of those the day before Saige's surgery.

Fun family times!

Here's Saige pre-surgery, cuddling Donkey, who was a gift from her Daddy right before he passed away.  Donkey has been with Saige through thick and thin, and even though he's dirty and stitched up in places, and needs saran wrap on one leg to keep his stuffing in, he means a lot to Saige.  In fact, when my mom was facing chemo and surgeries, Saige insisted on getting her a special teddy bear to cuddle.  Mom named hers "Hey Yew", because the chemo meds were made from the yew plant.  

Here's Saige right before she was taken back to the operating room.  She has her lovely hat on, and her IV is in her hand.

This was the lovely view from the hospital room.  To be fair, they are building on an annex to the hospital, but that view we had was certainly ugly and uninspiring.

Finally out of recovery, Saige is writing about how low her blood pressure dropped to Mr. Clean.  Her throat hurt too much for her to talk at that point.

Awww!!  Doesn't this just make you want to hug her??  Kids coming out of anesthesia are so pathetic, and as I said, Saige didn't feel very well at all.

I don't remember coming out of recovery, but I do remember how scared I was that my Mommy and Daddy wouldn't arrive at the hospital before I had to go to surgery.  (Parents didn't spend the night then, either)  I had been told they'd do a urinalysis before my surgery, and the night before, it still hadn't been done yet.  I was really scared to press the button to call the nurse to ask her, so finally I gathered my courage and went to the nurses' station to ask about it.  The nurse laughed at me, but it wasn't a mean laugh.  Oh, and she had me do the whole pee in the cup routine after I asked about it.

My mom drew a picture for me before the surgery.  My doctor's name was similar to Villain, and Mom drew an old fashioned villian lurking over me with a big knife in his hand.  I thought it was funny then.  Now I wonder what Mom was really thinking!  

I remember before my surgery the nurse came in and spelled, "It's time for her s-h-o-t", which was an injection nicknamed the hypo, and was supposed to relax me. Instead it had me climbing the walls.  Oh, and I was VERY offended the nurse spelled out shot, as if I were a little kid who couldn't spell easy words!  

I remember after surgery Mom fed me the ice chips, after I gagged at the nasty ice cream.  

Dad was in and out then--I'm sure he was working and taking care of my siblings during the times he wasn't at the hospital.

I remember leaving the hospital in the wheelchair, and how warm the lights were as I was wheeled out towards the front entrance to get in the car.

I also remember that it was there that I lost my very cool winter stocking cap, the long colorful one with the ball at the end of it. I loved that cap, and have never had another one since.

When I got home, my siblings wanted to know all about my surgery, and my sister, Emmie, had a planter for a get well gift for me.  It was a lady with a raised glove, and inside was some sort of ivy plant.  I had that for years, until it finally broke during one of my many moves.

Saige's sibling, Dr. Lampshade, completely forgot about her surgery, even though he and I had spoken the day before and I'd reminded him of it.  (He had court.  All of his under age drinking charges were dropped, by the way.  He also no longer has to perform community service, because he bonded out.)  The other siblings remembered, mostly because I was texting them to remind them as Saige underwent the cauterizing tool.

We were at the hospital for almost 10 hours, which really isn't all that long, I guess, for someone to have surgery, recuperate, and go home.

However, it seemed really long to Mr. Clean and me.

Though he kept busy watching videos on his Ipod.

I should point out that back then, when I had my tonsils removed, there were no Ipods. Heck, there was no cable television to entertain patients and families, either.  No wonder Mom was drawing pictures of villains for me.  There was nothing else to do!

So, we'll see how Saige does over the next few days.  I realized that the pharmacy wrote the wrong dosage of pain medication on her bottle of liquid vicodin.  I knew the nurse said 15ml, but the label says to give Saige 1 tsp, which is 5ml, according to the syringe I got.  She's supposed to have 15ml every six hours, according to the paperwork we have, and what the nurse told me.  No wonder the poor kid keeps waking up in horrible pain!

Stupid pharmacy.

Anyway, that's it for this update.  Go in peace, be warm and filled.